Surrogacy is an incredible journey—one that can be deeply emotional, purely transactional, or a mix of both. No matter your reason for considering it, getting started requires careful research, reflection, and preparation. If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate, here’s what you need to know about the process, from the first steps to matching with a family.
1. Do Your Research and Self-Reflection
Before diving in, take the time to truly understand the surrogacy process. Read about it, join support groups, and talk to experienced surrogates if possible. Surrogacy is a huge commitment—not just physically, but mentally and legally.
Most importantly, ask yourself: Why do I want to do this?
• If your motivation is emotional—wanting to help families who cannot have children—you should reflect on how you’ll handle carrying a child and then handing them to another family.
• If your motivation is financial, understand that ethical agencies conduct financial screenings to ensure surrogates are not in financial distress, which could impact their decision-making.
Regardless of the reason, both are valid. But knowing where you stand from the start will help guide your journey.
2. Find an Agency (Highly Recommended!)
While some surrogates go the independent route (private arrangements without an agency), I strongly recommend working with an agency. Why? Agencies have:
✔ Legal protections in place
✔ Clear financial agreements
✔ Experienced professionals managing the process
✔ Psychological and medical support
When you go independent, you take on the responsibility of handling contracts, legal fees, and medical arrangements yourself—something that can quickly become overwhelming.
3. The Application and Screening Process
Once you choose an agency, you’ll start filling out paperwork—lots of it. You’ll also have several phone interviews to discuss your motivations, lifestyle, and expectations for surrogacy.
After that, you’ll go through:
• Medical screenings – Bloodwork, ultrasounds, and an overall health check to confirm you’re physically fit for pregnancy.
• Psychological screenings – A meeting with a psychologist to assess emotional readiness.
• Financial screenings – Ensuring you’re financially stable and not relying on surrogacy as your sole income.
• Background checks – To verify no criminal history.
This whole process can take anywhere from 3 to 5 months, depending on how quickly paperwork and appointments are completed.
4. Finding the Right Match
Once you’re cleared, the matching process begins. Your agency will send you potential families based on your preferences, such as:
• What type of relationship you want with the parents (during and after pregnancy)
• If you’re comfortable carrying multiples
• Views on medical decisions, such as selective reduction or termination
• Whether you’re open to dietary or lifestyle restrictions requested by the intended parents
When both you and a family express interest, you’ll typically have a Zoom call facilitated by the agency. This meeting covers everything—from how involved the parents want to be in the pregnancy to whether they’d like you to pump breast milk after birth.
5. The Legal Process
Once you and a family agree to move forward, the legal phase begins.
• A contract (usually 50-70 pages long) is drafted, covering every possible scenario—from medical decisions to financial compensation.
• You’ll have your own attorney (paid for by the agency) to review the contract and ensure you’re protected.
• The contract also outlines post-birth legalities, including the termination of your parental rights (because legally, the surrogate is considered the child’s parent until court documents finalize the transfer).
6. Why an Agency Makes a Difference
Another major benefit of using an agency? They handle everything.
• Medical bills
• Insurance claims
• Appointment scheduling
• Legal paperwork
This allows you to focus on your relationship with the intended parents without the stress of administrative work.
Final Thoughts
Surrogacy is an incredible, life-changing experience—whether you do it for the emotional fulfillment of helping a family or as a business decision. Whatever your reasons, go in informed, supported, and confident in your choice.
If you’re considering surrogacy, take your time to reflect, research, and ask questions. It’s a journey that requires commitment, but for the right person, it can be one of the most rewarding experiences imaginable.
Would love to hear from other surrogates or those considering it—what’s been your biggest question or concern about getting started? Let’s talk!
The Anker Homestead 