Blended families are becoming more of the norm these days. While the idea of a nuclear family breaking apart is often seen as tragic, I firmly believe that staying together “for the kids” when a relationship isn’t working does more harm than good. Kids don’t need a household filled with tension, resentment, or emotional distance—they need love, stability, and parents who are genuinely happy, even if that means creating a new kind of family.
For the past nine years, we’ve been navigating life as a blended family. Between us, we have six kids—four boys and two girls. Our family isn’t just a mix of children from previous marriages; we also have one child we adopted through foster care and one we had together. If you had asked us nine years ago, we would have said we were perfectly happy with our four children. But life had other plans—and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
The Beauty of a Blended Family
There’s something incredibly beautiful about blending families. It’s proof that love is not confined to biology and that family is built through bonds, not just blood. Some of the most rewarding aspects of our blended journey have been:
❤️ Expanding our definition of family – Watching all of our children grow together, form relationships, and truly become siblings despite different backgrounds has been incredible.
❤️ Learning from different parenting styles – Blending a family means blending parenting styles. It’s not always easy, but it teaches patience, flexibility, and the importance of communication.
❤️ Creating new traditions – When two families come together, you get the chance to create something entirely unique. We’ve built new traditions that belong solely to us, and that has strengthened our bond in ways we never imagined.
❤️ Seeing love grow where you least expected it – Whether it’s watching stepparents step into loving roles, siblings form connections they never anticipated, or realizing that your capacity for love is bigger than you thought—blended families are proof that family is what you make it.
The Hardships (Because It’s Not All Sunshine and Rainbows)
As much as I love our blended family, I won’t pretend it’s always easy. Merging two different family units takes time, patience, and commitment. Some of the biggest challenges we’ve faced include:
⚡ Navigating co-parenting with exes – Co-parenting is hard, even when everyone is trying their best. Different parenting styles, scheduling conflicts, and emotions from past relationships can create tension.
⚡ Handling different rules and expectations – What was “normal” in one household might not be the same in the other. Finding a balance that works for everyone is an ongoing process.
⚡ Helping kids adjust – Kids don’t always adapt overnight. Blended families take time to truly blend, and there have been moments of frustration, resistance, and growing pains along the way.
⚡ The feeling of being an “outsider” – Whether it’s a stepparent trying to bond with stepkids or kids feeling torn between two homes, there can be moments of disconnect that take effort to bridge.
Commitment Makes the Difference
Blended families work when everyone commits to making them work. It’s not about pretending everything is perfect—it’s about showing up, communicating, and choosing love even when it’s hard.
There are moments of struggle, but there are also moments of pure magic—like watching your children become siblings in the most natural way, seeing a stepchild run to their stepparent for comfort, or realizing that somehow, this big, messy, beautiful family you never expected has become your greatest joy.
So, let’s talk about blended families. If you’re in one, thinking about creating one, or struggling with the challenges, just know this: It’s not about where you started, but how you grow together.
To those in blended families—what has been the biggest challenge or the biggest blessing in your journey? Let’s share and support each other!
The Anker Homestead 