Motherhood comes with endless advice, some helpful, some confusing, and some that makes you want to smile politely while screaming internally. And most of it comes from people who mean well.
From “When I was raising kids…” to “You just need to do it this way,” it can feel like everyone has a say in how you should parent. But when the advice doesn’t fit your reality, or your values, it can leave you questioning yourself and feeling like you’re constantly under a microscope.
It Usually Comes from Love
One thing I’ve learned is that most unsolicited advice comes from a good place. Our parents, grandparents, or in-laws genuinely believe they’re helping because they’ve been there before. Their advice is often rooted in love, and sometimes a little nostalgia for “how things used to be.”
But the truth is, parenting looks different now. We’re raising kids in a completely new world, one filled with technology, changing family dynamics, and information overload. What worked thirty years ago doesn’t always fit today’s families, especially in a blended home like ours.
Setting Boundaries with Grace
The hardest part is learning to set boundaries without causing hurt feelings. I’ve found a few gentle ways to handle it when advice starts to cross into overwhelm:
Thank them sincerely. A simple, “I appreciate that you always have such good experience,” goes a long way.
Redirect kindly. “We’ve been trying something a little different that’s been working for us.”
Know when to let it go. Not every comment needs a debate. Sometimes peace is more important than proving a point.
It’s about keeping relationships intact and honoring your role as the parent.
Blended Family, Blended Opinions
In a blended family, the advice can come from even more directions, multiple sets of parents, stepparents, and extended relatives. Everyone has ideas on how things “should” look. It can be tricky navigating those layers while keeping consistency for the kids.
Clint and I have learned that communication is key. We check in with each other before making big decisions and try to stay united, even when opinions outside our home differ. At the end of the day, our family dynamic is ours to build, and no one else’s.
Choosing Peace Over Perfection
I’ve stopped trying to take every piece of advice to heart. I listen with respect, but I remind myself that I’m the one raising these kids day in and day out. I know their personalities, their triggers, their hearts.
Parenting is not about doing it their way, it’s about doing what works for your family.
A Gentle Reminder
You can respect someone’s experience and still follow your own path. You can be kind and firm. You can listen and still say “thanks, but no.”
That balance, love with boundaries, is where peace lives. 💛
The Anker Homestead 