For years, I chased the idea of being “the perfect mom.”
You know the one, the mom who never raises her voice, always has creative lunches packed, keeps up with laundry, and somehow remembers every spirit day and permission slip.
I thought if I could just do enough, be enough, and hold everything together, my kids would feel loved, safe, and proud of me.
But the truth is, perfection doesn’t exist, and chasing it only left me exhausted and disconnected from what truly matters.
Where the Myth Begins
From the moment we become mothers, we’re flooded with expectations, from society, family, social media, and ourselves.
We scroll through highlight reels of spotless homes, smiling kids, and moms who somehow “do it all,” and we start to wonder what’s wrong with us for struggling.
But motherhood isn’t meant to be a performance. It’s a relationship, and relationships are messy, unpredictable, and full of growth.
The Moment I Let Go
I can’t pinpoint one single day when I stopped trying to be perfect, it was more like a quiet surrender over time.
I began to notice how my kids didn’t need a version of me who had it all together. They needed a mom who was present, even when things weren’t picture-perfect.
They needed hugs more than a spotless kitchen.
Laughter more than carefully planned meals.
Grace more than guilt.
The more I let go of perfection, the more room there was for connection.
A Blended Family Reality Check
In a blended family, there are even more layers of expectation, navigating relationships, co-parenting, and trying to make everyone feel included.
At first, I thought being “perfect” meant never letting anyone down. Now, I see that love doesn’t require perfection; it requires presence and patience.
The kids won’t remember the perfectly planned days. They’ll remember the nights we laughed too loud, the road trips that didn’t go as planned, and the way home always felt like love, no matter what.
Permission to Be Real
If you’re tired of chasing an impossible standard, this is your reminder:
You don’t need to be the perfect mom. You just need to be you.
Show up.
Apologize when needed.
Laugh often.
Love deeply.
That’s what they’ll remember. And that’s what makes you the perfect mom, for them.
The Anker Homestead 